Even Crazies Deserve Wishes
by Pure Aura-Chan
Summary: We all know how Dib's life sucks, but does it meet the quota for a Godparent? And when Dib does get one, what exactly does the duo plan to do? A fast-pace story that involves a human ZIM, straight-jacketed Gaz, and much more! Please Read&Review! ONESHOT.


_**Even Crazies Deserve Wishes**_

Dib and plopped down on it, sprawling out and looking up at the ceiling. This day couldn't be worse for him. ZIM sulked into his room with tears partially swelling in his eyes. He slammed his door shut and went over to his bed won; Gaz has a grudge on him; his dad's been busy non-stop; and he was bullied beyond compare. Yes, although it seems to be pretty much impossible, ZIM won a major battle between the two. What exactly happened isn't the issue, but that it happened overall. Now, because of the fight, Dib has a wrap around his head, a bandage over his eye, his glasses cracked, and his already sliver of dignity shattered. Nothing could be worse.

"And you guys wouldn't do anything about it." Dib pulled a Swollen Eyeball business card out from his coat pocket and looked at it sadly. "I thought I could depend on you people…" He then crumbled it up and threw it at the wall. "My mistake."

All of a sudden, dark blue smoke came from the wad of paper and flew upwards. Dib watched in confusion and awe. The smoke formed into the shape of a small person and disappeared, leaving a figure in its place.

"Hello Dib, I'm your Fairy Godparent!" A teenage boy fairy crossed his arms and grinned. Dib's eye widened.

The fairy had short black hair similar to Dib's. He had large circular glasses like Dib's too, but they were more fitting to the fairy. He wore a long black lab coat, and a barely visible navy shirt underneath. He also had black pants and black boots with a belt of made of chains. His dark eyes flickered.

"Who- who are you?" Dib stuttered out, still in shock.

"Pluto, your Fairy Godparent." He flew up to Dib and smirked darkly. "I'm here to make your life better, because both you and I know you deserve it."

Dib shied away and slipped under his bed sheets and shut his eyes tightly. "Go away."

Pluto crossed his arms once more and huffed. "Come on Dib, I need to cheer you up!" He began tugging Dib out of bed, literally. Dib flailed and fell onto the floor.

"Okay, so, you really are real." Dib rubbed his head. "But this still doesn't make any sense… I think…"

"It's our job as a Fairly Godparent to give our child the life they deserve. We get assigned to a child who's miserable and leads an unbearable life."

"… Why do you look like me?"

"Oh, I get all the emo kids." Dib's face went blank. "I'm kidding! This is just who I am!" Pluto held out a hand. "I believe we're going to get along quite well, Dib Membrane."

And that's how it was settled. Pluto was assigned specially to this boy, this poor misunderstood boy. The two had a lot in common and they just met. Though, Dib was skeptical about it at first, but then warmed up to him.

"You know, considering you can grant just about any wish I ask for, there has to be some rules." Dib stated.

"I thought you'd never ask." Pluto flicked his wand and Da Rules was thrown on top of Dib, crushing him.

"First, NO ONE can know you have me, unless of course, you want me to go and never come back. You also can't wish for money, corruption, and so on."

Da Rules disappeared and Dib stood back up, dazed. "So… you can grant just about anything…"

"Your wish is my command."

"Then can I be healed? I got into a bad fight earlier." Dib pointed to his bandaged eye. Pluto waved his wand and his injuries were healed.

"And can I have some _edible _food? I'm really hungry." Pluto flicked his wand and a plate of Chinese food appeared on Dib's desk. He took a spoonful of rice and smiled.

The next day, Dib drew the confidence to go to school. "Awww, Pluto, I wanted you to come with me." Dib remembered how his Godparent was a floating person with wings and a crown.

Pluto smirked and pushed his glasses up. Within an instant, he was a black crow. Dib gasped. "That's so cool!"

Pluto flew over to Dib and perched himself nicely on his head. Dib cracked a grin and went downstairs to the kitchen. Gaz glared at him.

"Finally found something that wants to be around you, huh Dib?" She crunched down on a piece of burnt toast.

"I wish Gaz was restrained." Dib whispered out of the corner of his mouth. POOF! Gaz was tied up in a straight jacket. Both Dib and Pluto broke out laughing. Gaz opened an eye and her demonic aura was spreading like a wildfire throughout the room. The two boys quickly left.

And on the bus, one of the boys, of who clearly remembered the fight from yesterday, tried to give Dib a wedgie. But with Pluto on his head, he dare not take a step closer. And at school, despite the weird looks about having a crow on his head, the students seemed to back off.

At his desk, Pluto turned into a black pencil. Dib eyed him. "Uh… I wish I had another pencil." A regular pencil appeared in his hand. "Thanks, but it would be too creepy to hold you like that."

"Now class," Ms. Bitters began, "Open your horrible textbooks to your nest horrible assignment of pure horror."

As the class went to work, ZIM couldn't help but to eye Dib suspiciously. He raised a hand and spoke out. "Ms. Bitters, Dib's talking to his pencil." All eyes turned to Dib.

But he didn't notice them and continued on with his conversation with Pluto. The Letter M narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, he is, but he's been weirder."

"Dib, is there something you want to share with the class?" Ms. Bitters hissed.

He looked up at her and smiled goofy. "Nope!"

The bell rang, signifying lunch. Kids piled out the door in order to get to the cafeteria. Dib was the last one out as Pluto turned back into a crow and perched on his head again. What an adorable picture indeed.

Dib made his way outside to the playground instead and made his lunch spot at a bench. POOF! Pluto went back to being a fairy. He pushed his glasses up again and smirked.

"I'd hate to say it Dib, but your life sucks."

"Yeah… I've kinda noticed that." He sucked away at a juice box, smiling. Pluto crossed his arms and continued to float across the bench.

_He just admitted that his life sucked, yet he's smiling. What a tough kid… just like the higher- ups said… _Pluto remembered the fond memories that were all too fresh.

"_Pluto, you have a new assignment… a new child." The Council of Godparents called out. I floated up to the center of the room and saluted. "His name is Dib Membrane."_

_I lowered my salute and stared blankly at them._

_Cane, the leader of the Council, sighed. "Yes, Dib. He's by far one of the worst kids I've seen."_

"_What am I dealing with here?" I asked them politely._

"_First off, he's crazy. He's also tormented by his classmates, his sister, and the random strangers he knows. His dad's never home either. Oh, and one last thing… he's the enemy to the alien ZIM from Irk."_

_I hesitated and let the information soak in._

"_We're assigning you to him because you too are so much alike. Never once did any of us think you'd pass with flying colors out of the Academy, but you proved us wrong. Plus, you're best with the misunderstood kids."_

_After the long pause, I pushed my glasses up and smirked at them. "I'm ready to meet this Dib Membrane of which you speak. He sounds like my kind of Godchild."_

_Cane slammed his wand on the counter. The rest of the Council whispered among them. "Then it's decided! Pluto Maximum, you are hereby assigned to 10- year old Dib Membrane!"_

"Pluto?"

His Godparent shook his head in realization. "Huh, oh sorry Dib, I was drifting off…"

"I was just saying how-" The "skool" doors slammed open as an angry ZIM stepped through them. Pluto quickly transformed into a squirrel and ran up next to Dib.

Dib smiled a goofy smile yet again. "Hi ZIM! Care to join me for lunch?"

ZIM walked up to the pitiful human and narrowed his eyes. "There's something off about you today, Earth- stink."

Dib took a bite of his sandwich and watched ZIM yell at him.

After the one- sided conversation was over, Dib whispered out of the corner of his mouth "I wish ZIM was… a human."

ZIM somewhat overheard this and backed away. Pluto sneakily flicked his wand. ZIM was covered in smoke, but as it cleared, it revealed ZIM with pale skin, ears, a nose, and a change of clothes. PAKless, even. He gasped in shock. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE ALMIGHTY ZIM!"

Dib and Pluto left the newfound "human" at the playground. Slowly, the day passed with many wishes and plenty of laughs. When Dib and Pluto returned home, Dib had wished for something he's always wanted.

"Pluto… I wish my dad… I wish I could have dinner tonight with him."

Pluto smiled at Dib's request, and that night, he and his dad shared dinner at Bloaty's Pizza Hog. Pluto sat on the sidelines, looking at his Godchild finally enjoying himself.

But, the one thing that hovered in his mind was the last thing that Cane said.

"_However, you are a special case, Pluto."_

"_What do you mean, Sir?"_

"_I mean… I'm not assigning you to not only be his Godparent… but his friend… Why? Because that boy's never had a friend in his life."_

Pluto smiled once again at the thought. _And a wonder how… He's the coolest child I've ever had._

Life continued on the same. For weeks, Pluto and Dib were the closest of friends. Dib slowly weaned off of using wishes and just found Pluto to be his sidekick. Of course, after many laughs, they returned ZIM to "normal" and, just like Dib's old ways, stalked him for proof of alien life. Pluto even picked up a new hobby… paranormal investigating. The boy and his Godparent made mischief to everyone around them.

But… it was time, after a month, for Pluto to go. No, this is not what Fairy Godparents do normally, but Pluto was an exception. He was drafted into Fairy Land's Top Secret Military.

Dib raised an eyebrow. "Why are you leaving, Pluto?"

Pluto put his hands on his hips. "Don't worry Dib; I have something to give you." He handed over a ghost- shaped bell. "I'm always here for you. And when I'm back in Fairy Land, you can ring this anytime you want. I'll come back for a visit. Still… best friends, right?" Pluto held out a hand.

Dib held back his sniveling. "Y- Yeah…" He took Pluto's hand and shook it one last time.

"And who knows, I may teach the fairies back at home the science of paranormal investigating." Pluto and Dib shared a sly smile.

"So… see ya… Dib Membrane." Pluto left, but not for good.

_Even after 6,000 years, that boy's taught me more than any of my children did combined. I really did make a friend this time, and it's that way for forever. _

**_Author's Notes: Got this done! Finally! I had an idea to give Dib a Godparent, but this isn't exactly what I was looking for... hahahaha! It came out cheesy and fast... like poor Dib's life! No, I don't hate Dib, he's my favorite. So, I hoped you enjoyed this! :)_**

**_Please Review! Thanks Again! _****Oh, and this is a ONESHOT.**


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